Sexuality

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This beast swells within me

this ugly thing which only

wants to make another of itself

and is rarely satisfied,

as it destroys all life forms in its path

just to bathe in it’s own fire

it’s going on repeating itself

like a strange star in a mirror

so destructive and foolish and

even aware of itself at times

Brain like Peebles

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The many thoughts on them

How many things can you Google?

the myriad of things that you can and will forget?

I feel as if there’s more energy in my brain than others

I could be wrong:  it all goes towards me…careers,  money,

education, meditation, yoga, Osho, massage, women, the strangeness,

of energy, the bar, what will i do after work? what about this weekend?

all the people i have as friends on my Facebook page, hypnosis, what

do I really what do with my life?, changing the routine, potential mates,

artificial intelligence, how would you find meaning, moving the body, digestion

it all rains on the mind at once.  You become addicted to your thoughts

one after another, this moment

Instagram

 

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I follow more than they follow me

I’m not bothered by it, I try to drop this ego

which is a difficult thing to do, its easy to think

that world is Maya, because of the clever

injustice of the whole thing, games and

forever seeking out purity, and authenticity

but that is rarely in sight

I would rather follow others, other people

can be so interesting, if you let them of course

more interesting than yourself,

if you could drop your fucking EGO

The Weather

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too hot and too cold

that is the weather

as someone freezes to death on a bus stop

and you don’t think about it

it’s just a passing headline

don’t think about it too long

just forget it

don’t be like me and dwell on it

wonder about him. and wonder about yourself

putting yourself in that position

its no good

and the weather is always to hot or cold for

me, hope it’s not for you.

The Roads

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I am so boring

and am easily bored

why isn’t the daily routine not enough for me?

why do I desire to think think and think?

I travel familiar roads, afraid I will lose something

along the way

I’m afraid to throw things away because I fear

I will need them one day

it’s hard to tell what is important and what is not for me

what is important?

I do not know at all

my life

your life

our life

are we all ONE and shit

I do not know

Meditation

 

I didn’t know

I was doing it

But I was going away

To drink, going away to drink

The beers were religious experience for me

They allow to get away from the world and to feel better about myself.

I meditated a bout the world around me

It didn’t make sense to, my twenty year old self

Still confusing

Though the world reveals itself more

I’ve read so many books. Still meditating.

Problem with most fiction is that the characters in most books are so ordinary and dull

No wonder so few people read books

The only person you have is your self said Osho

And I’ve lived this for years

drinking in a parked car alone, let images and

ideas float by my head, and walking amongst

crowds and groups of people feeling separate

and just letting them be, sitting in front of typewriter

or computer thinking and meditating always along

doing this thing, this meditation,

not doing what most do,  LIVING

Spontaneous

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Shit man,

some of my friends can just crank it out

whether it’s writing, poetry or music, it

keeps coming out

all they can think about

don’t get me wrong, a strong work ethic is good

for some, but sometimes

there is just other things to do

life gets in the way, and I can

always be at the computer

cranking the words out

there has to be a break from the

words, to make room for the silence

which moves in like a river